CT Scan

So the last 20 hours have been a stomach's worst nightmare !!! I had to drink 2 450 mL Barium Sulfate suspension "smoothies". The instructions were to drink the first one 1 hour prior to bed the night before your test and the 2nd one 1 hour before the test. The first one I had was banana flavored. Not too bad. I has able to manage it in about 3 drinks. The effects on my stomach were not so good. I was up for about 3 hours last night with major indigestion. I didnt have a big dinner and have been eating sensibly so I am blaming the drink. This morning, I drank the 2nd one. Mixed Berries. It was AWFUL !!!!! I almost spit it up a few times. It was the worst. I went to the appt and was very surprised to learn about the procedure. I guess I should have done my research or asked questions to better prepare myself. First off, I had to wear a hospital gown. Was not ready for that. Nothing like sitting in a cold, drafty waiting room wearing a gown with total strangers sitting around you. Luckily, my wait was not very long. I went in the the CT room to see this huge donut looking machine. I laid on the table and the testing began. I was moved through this opening where I guess pictures were taken of my chest, pelvis and abdomen to look for abnormalities associated with cancer. The entire procedure took about 20 minutes or so. The iodine that they injected me with left a terrible taste in my mouth and a very strange feeling in my hands. Its only temporary so no long term effects. Anyhow, looking forward to a restful weekend and spending some holiday time with the family. I am doing some bloodwork/tests next Tuesday and will probably put a post up after that. So, enjoy the weekend and be safe.

More questions, fewer answers

So today has been a long day. I woke up around 7:00 AM and got ready to go to work. I told myself I could do it and I would give it a 100% effort. After showering and getting ready, I was already sore. I didn't take any pain med because I cant drive while taking it and didn't figure I would be able to do any work either. So, on no pain meds, I made my way to work. The whole time I was thinking about my appointment with my urologist Dr. Winkle to go over the surgery results. So I was able to work from 9 until around noon. The pain from sitting down was hurting my incision and staples were not feeling well. My employer was very understanding and let me go home. That was probably the best thing for me. I ate a small lunch and hung out alone for the afternoon. I went to my appointment and met with Dr. Winkle. He looked at my incision and staples and decided it would be ok to remove them. Got to say..... not a pleasant experience. I think I made it worse from being so tense. I think I left a permanent hand mark on that table. After removing my staples, the doctor came back in and talked about my surgery. He said that the tumor was completely isolated to the testicle and had not spread to any other part that he could see. That was a bit of good news. He did say that the type of tumor that it is, a nonseminomatous germ cell tumor, was not the one he was hoping for. Apparently this type of tumor, is more common and requires a little more treatment to ensure that the cancer is not laying dormant in another part of my body. Not the news I was hoping for. The recommendation is to have a chest, pelvis and abdomen CT and an array of blood work. Once those tests are complete, then the oncologist will make a recommendation. That could be anywhere from just an observation period to a round of chemo/radiation to knock out whatever may be in there. The doctor did say that it looked like my tumor markers were slightly elevated but could be due to the surgery just happening. The oncologist said that testicular cancer was a curable illness and that my prognosis was good.  It appears that everything was caught early enough that hopefully this will not be a drawn out fight. There are questions of future fertility due to treatments that can render a man sterile. So now the discussion of family planning will begin shortly. So as you can see, a lot of unanswered questions and fewer answers than I was hoping for. I am trying to remain strong and going to use my new-found disease as an outlet to help other men in my same situation. The urologist recommended checking out the LiveStrong Foundation. He said there is a lot of good information on there. I will check it out and let you all know what I think. So, it looks like I am now officially a cancer patient. I was hoping that it would have worked out differently but I feel confident based on what I have read and been told that I will come out of this just fine. I will continue to workout and eat more sensibly. I will also start incorporating more "cancer-friendly" foods into my diet to help fight this disease on a natural level as well. My intention with this blog is to continue providing medical updates as to my condition and use this as a therapeutic outlet for my thoughts/feelings so that others with these same thoughts or issues confronting them can find some comfort in what I am writing and they can know that it is coming from real life experience. Please pass along this blog and encourage others to follow so they can benefit from the information that is provided. Thanks and much love to everyone.

Recovery Update

Well, my recovery has been moving along the way my doctor anticipated. I get to meet with him tomorrow to discuss the biopsy results and talk about a further course of treatment if needed. I am praying that this is all that will be needed. I will post something up tomorrow after my appointment so everyone knows whats going on. I did get to take my bandage off last night and had a shower. Someone said it would be the best shower I have ever had. I would say that it was close to the top for sure. I have about 20 staples along an 6-8 inch incision. It will end up being a nasty scar. I am still taking some pain meds. I think the meds are making me really groggy in the mornings. I am having the hardest time waking up and becoming aware of my surroundings. Maybe thats effects from the anesthesia.I find myself zoning out from time to time. Like I am daydreaming. That should be fun at work tomorrow. I am kinda curious to see how I will be able to manage at work tomorrow. Its a lot different being able to sit back in my comfy chair with my feet propped up and trying to deal with customers. Hopefully I will be functional tomorrow before going to the doctor appointment.

Why Now ??

So from reading my previous posts, you should know what has been going on and where I am right now. The question you may be asking yourself is "Why ??" A close friend of mine asked me last night, "Why did you wait so long ??" That is kind of the whole point of my writing this blog so others will not wait so long. I was scared to know the truth, scared to go get advice, scared of what would come next. I don't want others to be scared. I want my story to inspire men or ANYONE who needs medical treatment to seek it immediately. I was stubborn and embarrassed to ask for help and probably waited a lot longer than I should have. I didn't want to say anything because I was afraid of scaring my wife. I know she is going to hate reading that but she has enough on her plate to not have to worry about me. I am blessed to have her in my life and she has made this all easier on me. But she shouldn't have to worry about me. And I think that has been the biggest thing I have learned in this whole experience. That the people who love you are going to worry, but they are also going to show you the love and support to make you feel better, to not be scared and make it easier for you to go through what you are going through. Because they are with you.

End of The Weekend

Evening all...... had a great time this afternoon with the family. Nice to hang out and play some cards to take my mind off of things. I spoke to the on-call doctor today and he said I had to leave my bandage on for a few days and I cant shower or get it wet at all. Thats not really very cool. Hopefully Melissa wont kick me out of bed or go sleep at her sisters house !!! Anyhow, I will be happy to get this off. I want to check out the scar !! The meds I am on are working pretty well. Still just taking 1 pill at 4-5 hour intervals. I am concerned about trying to go back to work this week. Lots of stuff to sort through. I will work on doing that in the next 2 days while I am home alone.

Good Sunday Morning

I thought I would give everyone an update from last night and this morning so far. My pain continues to be all localized to the incision the doctors made. I haven't tried to mess with the bandage or look at the staples but I assure you, they are there. We had a nice evening last night. Melissa picked up some Olive Garden and we watched a movie. I have been maintaining a 4-5 hour pace with my pain medication. I have only been taking 1 pill per time. I am thankful my pain has not been that bad. It hurts if I sit still for too long. I have been propping my legs up on the ottoman and that has felt nice. Almost like laying down which is what I was told to do. I went a little long last night without pain meds and when I woke up, the pain was much more evident. We are having some family over this afternoon for a little get together. I am looking forward to that. Its always nice when they are around. Very fun to hang out with. Anyhow, I hope everyone is well today and please pass the word about my blog to people in my situation or may find it useful. I am going to stat experimenting with pictures and video on here soon so it will have a much more interactive feel. Until later, Peace, love and much happiness.....

The Day After

So that brings us to today. Saturday May 22nd, 2010. I slept pretty well through the night. Woke up around 3:00 to take my pain meds. The directions say to take 1-2 every 4 hours. I have only taken a dosage of 1 so far. Haven't had enough pain to need 2 yet. God willing, I wont. We woke up around 8:00 and our daughter jumped in bed with us. My wife read a book and my daughter and I played a game on my phone. It was very peaceful. I thought about how lucky I am to have a great family who loves me around me to help me through this process. I then started thinking about this blog and have been working on it since around 9:00 AM. My wife went to the store and got us stuff for breakfast and for me to have next week while she works. I am off until Wednesday when I can hopefully go back to work. Fortunately, my boss is understanding and has made all of this very easy for me. My pain is a 2-3 on a scale of 1 to 10. My throat is sore and airway is swollen from where I had a breathing tube put in me during surgery. I have not removed the bandage that covers my incision. The doctor said it was being held together with staples. That's cool !!! I have to go get them removed sometime next week. I should have a follow up appt with him right before Memorial Day to go over the pathology reports and get staples removed. I am kinda eager to take the bandage off but am gonna hold off until I talk to the doctors office. So that brings us to the preset, breakfast is done and I have rambled on for about 4 hours of so. Time to take a break !! I will post another entry later on today or tomorrow for sure.

Recovery

The next thing I remember, I was in the post-op recovery room and my head was swirling. I was trying to gain focus on something. There was a nurse sitting next to me and I read her ID badge and said her name. She said "That's Me" and smiled. I then asked to see my wife and daughter and she said she would get them after I came out of anaesthesia fully. I then started looking around and reading signs. It was 6:15 PM. About an hour and half after they put me under. There was no one else in the recovery room that I could see. I started wondering if I made it though surgery. I asked the nurse if there were any complications and she said no. My first sigh of relief. I kept looking around and saw the other nurses. I felt invisible to everyone else there. One lady was talking on the phone, another was looking for her book. Guess it wasn't very busy for them. I slowly became more aware of my surroundings and being able to focus completely on things. I then started feeling the effects of my surgery. I have a big bandage across the right side of my pelvis. The doctors cut me open at my pubic area and removed my testicle through there. I had some pain from the effects. Obviously they pumped me full of drugs but still could feel the effects. A few minutes later, I saw the most beautiful thing in the world. I saw my wife walking towards me. I was so happy. I looked at her face to see if she had any bad news. She looked relieved. Another sigh of relief. The doctor had already talked to her and the surgery went well. By this time, I was pretty well recovered and was able to get dressed. It was around 7:00 by this time so I had been awake for about 45 minutes. I was able to stand on my own and get dressed with no issues. My doctor came and talked to me and said that everything went well and he didn't see anything while in there that was alarming. Another sign of relief. He said that we would meet after getting the pathology reports to see where we go from here. Treatments could include a short, localized radiation therapy, or a longer round of radiation or chemotherapy. This is assuming that the tumor was cancerous and that treatment would be needed. Then they brought a wheelchair for me and I was on my way out. It was warm and humid outside and I immediately thought to myself, Yep.... definitely Houston. My nurse was whipping me around the sidewalk and took a corner that I thought I was going to eat it in. She said something about me being worried but I didn't fully comprehend. One notable side effect of the medication is being able to focus on one thing at a time. Cant multi-task on that stuff. We got to my truck and I thought to myself, it would be a lot easier to sit down into a car rather than try and crawl up into a truck. Fortunately, it wasn't difficult to stand up and maneuver to get in. The ride home felt like the bumpiest, longest ride home. I kept waiting for my staples to fall out from the rid home. My "designated driver" did good getting me home ASAP. I was really hungry at this point of the day and was ready for dinner. We got home and my wife went to the pharmacy to get my pain meds. Doctors prescribed me something called Hydrocodone which is a combination of a narcotic and acetaminophen to reduce moderate to severe pain. My post op meal consisted of Chic-Fil-A chicken nuggets, waffle fries and lemonade. We were afraid of nausea caused my the medication but I felt great, except for the pain. We finished dinner and did a little racing on Mario Kart for the Wii. My wife beat me badly. I blame the drugs !!! After, we finished the night with Everybody Loves Raymond. my daughter fell asleep on the couch and all went to bed around 10:30 PM. Good conclusion to an otherwise tough, stressful day.

Longest 2 Hours of My Life

So I hope everyone has found this blog informational and you have gotten a good idea about what I have been going through and the process of it all. So at this point, I am in the Pre-Op waiting room with a bed, a chair, a stool, TV and a bunch of machines that I am clueless about. That was the order in which I saw and was able to identify things. Take comfort in what you know. The RN came in and told me to remove all of my clothing and put the gown on. She gave me some privacy and I, for the first time in my life, was wearing a hospital gown. And a little blue hat for my hair. I felt like I was working in a cafeteria somewhere. The RN came back in and went over some questions with me about why I was there. She then put in my IV line into my hand. It was a little painful, at least more so than I thought it would be. Again, never had anything like that in my veins before. I have donated blood before but its a little different and from your arm, not your hand. I didn't feel any particular sensation immediately. Just the pain from the needle. She left me and came back a few minutes later and let me know that the anaesthesiologist would be meeting with me before the doctor came in. She went and got my wife out of the waiting room and brought her back to see me along with my grandmother. I was starting to get emotional at this point. Tears started running for fear of the unknown, fear of complications, fear of leaving my wife a widow to raise our daughter alone. I felt afraid and alone and then something happened. I realized that I had the support of my family and friends and that I was going to be OK. My wife started showing me posts that people were leaving on Facebook and different text messages and it really made me feel better. I have a lot of great friends, a very loving family and my wife's family has accepted me as one of their own. I guess I just realized it for the first time. My wife's parents were on their way to the hospital with my daughter to be with my wife while I was in surgery. My wife was able to bring my daughter back to see me. She was a little scared at first to see her Daddy with IVs going into his hand and laying there in bed with a hospital robe and hat. She eventually gave me a big hug and kiss which made me very happy. The next hour or so consisted of watching some episodes of "Friends" which we really like. That took my mind off of things until the anaesthesiologist came in and gave me some medicine to make sure my stomach didn't get upset. Not sure how it could, I had no food or liquid in it !! My grandmother took my daughter out to the waiting room with the rest of the family and my wife stayed with me until they came in and took me to the operating room. My doctor came in and talked to us for a few minutes about the surgery and let my wife know what would happen after everything was done. It was time for me to go. My wife gave me a big hug and I felt at peace. The nurses drove me out to the OR and started prepping me. The last thing I remember is looking for the "box seats" where they observe you like you see on TV and I was out. I don't even think they told me they were putting me under. I was just gone.

Surgery Day

So Thursday night was a quiet one as expected. I had to be up before 8:00 AM on Friday so I could have a small breakfast. No food or drink 8 hours prior to surgery which was schedule for 4:00 PM. I woke up just before Melissa and my daughter left the house. I hugged my daughter for what I hoped was not the last time and started to cry. It was a very helpless feeling. I had a lot of these feelings today. After finishing breakfast, I mowed the yard. I didn't know when I would be able to do it again due to the pain or exercise restrictions. After doing the yard, I took my first shower of the day. I was given 2 anti-septic packages that doctors use to scrub with before their surgery. I had to shower twice with those and only those. No other soaps or sprays. After my shower, I just hung out and watched some TV. Just tried to do other things besides thinking about what I was in store for that afternoon. I laid down around 12:00 PM and tried to take a short nap. Check in at the hospital was at 2:00 PM. Melissa was meeting me at the house to ride out there with me. She was my "responsible party" to drive me home after the surgery. I don't think I ever feel asleep before having to wake up and take my 2nd shower with the anti-septic soap. I dressed in some gym shorts, TShirt and sandals so I wouldn't have any problems getting dressed. And if someone else had to dress me, I didn't want it to be tougher than need. Loose fit clothing is the way to go !!! We got to the hospital and checked in for surgery. The waiting room was empty which was good for us because I heard there was a small party in there while I was in surgery. Lots of loved ones showed up to support me and my wife during the surgery. My name was called and I was taken back to the pre-op waiting room. The time was coming and it was looming over my head like a thunderous storm cloud. I was at a point where things now were out of my hands and being left into someone elses.

Pre-Op Testing

I managed to work on Thursday. Sandwiched between the news of my surgery and the surgery itself. Needless to say, I was just occupying space and time. No real thought about work itself. But I did get sales so that is always good !! Anyhow, I had to return to the hospital to get blood work done for my upcoming surgery. They tested for HcG ( The stuff Brian Cushing got popped for !! ), and other levels in my blood to make sure I would be OK for surgery. The guy who did my registration kinda had me worried about the process of being put under for surgery. Up to this point in my life, I have never seen an operating room. I have only been to the hospital once for some stitches. I had no idea about anesthesia or being put to sleep. I think that was the part of this whole thing that I was worried most about. Being put out and them not being able to revive me. Or there being some terrible complication during surgery and I not making it out. Anyhow, that is another chapter of my blog. So my pre-op testing consisted of drawing blood and a chest X Ray.

Urologist Visit

So my doctors visit was on Wednesday, May 19th 2010 at 2:00 PM. My wife, who has been amazingly supportive through this, met me at the house and we drove out together. We were seated in an exam room and our doctor came to speak to us. His name is Dr. E.C "Chip" Winkel. Very nice guy and made us both feel at ease. He explained that I had a large tumor and that my right testicle would have to be removed. He let us know that once they got the pathology reports back, that the next course of action would be determined. He said that if I had cancer, that I picked the best one. In men my age (35), it is the most treatable and has the hghest recovery rate of any other form of cancer. He talked about a guy who had testicular cancer that spread to his brain who won the Tour de France 7 times. Ever heard of Lance Armstrong ?? So that made us feel a lot better. So at this point we have some more answers but a lot more questions. The one thing I did know, is that I was having one of my testicles removed in 48 hours and was starting to get scared.

So here it is from the beginning

This is the story about how I got to where I am today. Its a 35 yr history that I am only sharing the last week of with you. Its the most relevant to this blog and the information you are seeking. I have had what I thought was a swollen testicle for the last few months. I figured it wasn't a big deal and the swelling would go down. I am married and am 100% devoted to my beautiful wife so I have never been unfaithful. I knew it wasnt a STD so I chalked it up to my poor diet over the last 35 years. As of January 2010, I was severly overweight and had to do something about it. I have dropped over 40 lbs since then but thats not the important part. Point is: I had no idea why my testicle had swollen up as much as it did. The general practitioner I went to see before being referred to a urologist measured the testicle as 17X13 CM. Its about the size of a lemon. He did not give me very much information so I was left with no answers and many more questions than I went in with. I met with a urologist on the following Tuesday. That is important to know so you will see how quickly everything progressed. After his examination, I had to get an ultrasound done on the testicle. My follow up appointment with the urologist was that Friday to review the results of the ultrasound and to determine the next step. On Wednesday morning, before 9:00 AM, the doctors office was calling me telling me to come in immediately. And that I should bring my wife with me. Holy Cow was I freaking out !!! That afternoon prior to my appointment was the longest of my life. Time really slowed down and my anxiety sped up. Not a good combination !!!

A New Experience

So I have been trying to figure out the best way to communicate what is happening in my life since the doctors told me I was having surgery. I have flipped back and forth between my typical silence except those closest to me and full disclosure. I am opting for full disclosure in the hopes that my writing will be both therapeutic for me, to keep my friends and family abreast of what is happening with me, and to hopefully provide useful information to other men in my situation who are looking for answers to questions that they do not yet know. My intent is to update this blog regularly and keep it almost as a day to day journal for you to see how things are progressing with me. Please do not feel like I am writing this as a means of updating you to avoid phone calls/messages inquiring about how I am doing. I hope that people will continue to leave wall posts, call, text message, Email, carrier pigeon or whatever they need to do to keep in touch with me. Peace, love and happiness to all !!!